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Everyone interviewed for this story was of the same mind on two points. The first is that every child living in New Jersey should be in a home where he or she is loved and wanted by their family.
That family ideally is one the child was either born into or welcomed into through adoption.
Some children, however, have a different experience and are removed either voluntarily or through the use of force from their homes and placed into foster homes.
The second point is that the home in which a child is placed after having been removed from a familiar home should be substantially better.
Sometimes this happens and sometimes it does not.
According to Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) spokesman Joe Delmar, there are three types of foster care in New Jersey: Substitute Out of Home Care, Foster Homes, and Residential Treatment Centers.
“All foster care is specifically designed to be temporary,” said Delmar.
There are 11,006 children in Substitute Out of Home Care, and 6,524 in foster homes in New Jersey.
John and Mary (not their real names), of Petersburg, were married for five years before they tried to have children. After a couple of years without success, they went to a fertility doctor who said because of problems they both had it would be difficult, even with drugs, for them to conceive their own child.
They decided that rather than spending thousands of dollars in an effort that might prove fruitless, they would make a home for a child who needed one. They contacted several adoption agencies. They were thoroughly interviewed, screened and advised. They waited, and waited, and waited some more.
“We were at our wit’s end,” said Mary.
Finally a co-worker suggested they become foster parents. They contacted DYFS.
According to Delmar, there are 4,700 foster homes statewide. “We don’t think we’ll ever have enough,” said Delmar, who described the process for prospective foster parents.
There is screening, a reference check, a criminal background check, and training. The job requires 24 hours of pre-service training that may be taken on weekends or evenings and after that there is 14 hours a year of training. Approval takes from four to nine months, said Delmar.
While in training, the state pays for mileage, the training itself, and babysitting expenses if the prospective foster parents already have children.
For John and Mary, the waiting finally came to an end when 2-year-old Sally (not her real name) came to live with them.
Her father was unknown and her mother was a drug addict who was HIV positive. “Luckily, (Sally) was fine,” Mary said.
In no time at all, Sally was joined by a baby sister, 1-year-old Megan (not her real name). Megan also had a traumatic background that was made worse by the fact that she had been sexually abused.
“(Megan) screamed for months every time we changed her diaper,” Mary said.
But the story has a happy ending because eventually John and Mary adopted both girls.
“Eighty percent of the children who are in foster care are adopted by their foster parents,” said Delmar.
He said that the adoption process has been speeded since the passage of the Federal Adoption and Safe Family and Children Act four years ago. He also said that the federal review of the state’s progress is “outcome based.”
“Congress wanted to make sure no child languished in foster care, so they set a time limit. The purpose of the act is to encourage and promote adoption,” Delmar said.
The act provides for penalties for states that do not comply and financial incentives for those that do. Under the guidelines, children may not be in foster care longer than 22 months before being put up for adoption.
In New Jersey, after 15 months in foster care the state begins the process of legally terminating parental rights. In 1977 there were 633 termination cases brought, resulting in 597 adoptions. In 2001, with federal incentives in place there were 1,537 terminations and 1,035 adoptions.
“The federal government subsidizes foster care and adoption with Title 4 (e) money,” Delmar said.
When Sally was 12 and Megan was 11, John and Mary decided to become foster parents again. This time 9-year-old David (not his real name) was sent to them.
“All we were told was that he had been neglected and was ‘emotionally fragile’ by the case worker,” said John.
In the first month he lived with them, they found ripped up sheets, missing money, which David blamed on Megan, clogged toilets and suspicious fires, including one in the girls’ bedroom.
“Sally even came to us and told us (David) had tried to have sex with her and Megan. We told her she must have misunderstood his actions, after all he was only 9,” Mary said.
Because she had some concerns, she called the caseworker and told her about the incident. She got a big shock.
“Instead of her being supportive and asking if she could help, which is what I anticipated, she threatened me and said I had better supervise the kids better or ‘We’ll come and take them all away from you,’” recalled Mary.
Mary told John, and for the first time in their years of dealing with DYFS they felt fear.
“We wanted to take (David) to psychological counseling but they (DYFS) want to tell you who you can go to,” said John.
Another month passed and the family endured more accidents until one day the kitten Sally had received as a birthday present was missing.
Mary and John recalled the frantic search for the cat, as well as David, who was also missing.
“We found him out behind the house trying to hang the kitten. He was only out of our sight for about five minutes,” said John.
It was the last straw for them. Mary put her daughters and the bewildered kitten into the family van and drove to an adjoining state where she was prepared to stay if DYFS tried to take her daughters.
John bundled David into his car and sped off to DYFS headquarters.
“I told them the whole story and said he could not come back,” John said.
They conceded.
“I think it was partially because we had many years of a good relationship with the agency that they admitted a mistake had been made,” he said.
Later, John and Mary learned that David had “severe emotional problems.” He was placed in a residential care home for children with similar problems.
“They should never have placed him with us,” said Mary, who has given up her dream of ever foster parenting again. “I am just happy to have my two wonderful girls.”
According to Delmar, foster parents are given “as much as we have” by way of information on a foster child. He said it is the responsibility of the individual caseworker to transmit the information.
He also said many of the caseworkers are overworked, with an average caseload of 35 children.
“We have a system of checks and balances that is very thorough, with a ratio of one supervisor to every five caseworkers. We and every state have also been required by the feds to develop a thing called SWACWIS (State Wide Automatic Child Welfare Information System) to better manage things,” he said.
The federal government has also promised matching funds of $3.5 million for this computer program.
Carlin (not his real name) is someone who always wanted children but because he is gay, never hoped to father any of his own. The successful Middle Township businessman will soon have his dream come true. Within the next few weeks the adoption of his two children will be finalized which is why he does not want his name used.
“Don’t get me wrong, my two kids, well one of them, were fosters, but I learned a lot about how the system works,” he said.
Carlin had already adopted his older son through a private adoption when he agreed to take a 7-year-old boy that DYFS was attempting to place.
“Before I had him a day he was punching me and kicking me in the never-evers, if you catch my meaning,” said Carlin.
The foster dad immediately called the caseworker, who told him she did not have any more information on the child than what she had told him.
“Oh she was such a liar,” Carlin said.
After another week of physical abuse by the 7-year-old, “There were times when I just wanted to choke him, he was so horrendous,” said Carlin, the frustrated foster father called DYFS demanding answers. A torrent of problems came pouring over the phone.
“This child had every possible syndrome and psychosis imaginable to man,” he said.
The worker told him all the information was not available when the boy was placed. Carlin told them he was “bringing the kid right over.”
“They begged me to keep him for three more weeks but I refused. So we negotiated for five days, then I said you either pick him up or I’m leaving him on you doorstep,” he said.
In five days they picked the child up.
“God help whoever they placed him with,” said Carlin, who said he is still “very resentful that the agency tried to foist a child with serious psychological issues on a household that was in no way prepared for them.”
Unlike Delmar, Carlin believes that is all too common with DYFS.
“I see two problems with their foster care program. First they take too many kids away for really stupid reasons, like maybe your house is messy and they call it neglect, and second, some kids have very tragic histories like fetal alcohol syndrome, addictions they got from their birth moms, and they just don’t know what to do with these kids, so they foist them on goodhearted schmucks.”
Foster parents receive a stipend of $412 per month for young children and $516 for teenagers. They are also entitled to medical and dental care. Foster parents are also given help with babysitting or daycare.
“Some foster parents choose to continue working,” said Delmar, "When they do the state pays for the foster children to attend daycare."
The agency also tries to make sure the foster parents get a break.
“Respite care is important to us,” Delmar said.
The foster parents are given regular monthly and yearly breaks arranged and paid for by DYFS.
When children are placed in foster care, the agency attempts to make “appropriate matches for age, race and gender.”
Asked if consideration was given to religious considerations, Delmar said, “If religion is a consideration we try to place the child with a relative with the same religious beliefs.”
But, he added, “Religion usually doesn’t come up.”
The agency also tries to keep siblings together or in the same county, but that isn’t always the case. According to DYFS statistics, 84 percent or 3,264 live in the same county. Of the children placed, 4,300 have a sibling, and 63 percent are kept together.
Jerry Hall, Cape May County director of the citizen action group V.O.C.A.L., believes that the number of foster homes needed could be drastically reduced if the “bar were not set so low for things like emotional abuse and neglect”.
He believes many parents who have their children taken only need some help housekeeping or learning to manage their time or household.
He believes DYFS has abused its power and strayed from its mission of protecting children.
“That’s why I named my web site www.dyfsabuse.com,” he said.
But Hall and Delmar agree on one thing: “Foster care only addresses the symptom. The solution is a permanent, stable home,” said Delmar.
(Editor’s Note: Next, a view from the inside, the foster child’s perspective.)
Helen McCaffrey can be emailed at news@catamaranmedia.com or you can comment on this story by calling 522-0708, ext. 250.)
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