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In this series, readers have learned of the Division of Youth and Family Services’ stated mission as well as its interpretation of the state legislature’s intent when they enacted the state’s child abuse laws. Readers also heard the parents’ complaints regarding the denial of their rights as parents and citizens, but with few exceptions no one has heard from the real victims – the children.
This newspaper interviewed six of the children whose families have been the subject of a DYFS investigation. Three ended up in foster care for a period of time. This is their story.
Kevin is 13 years old. DYFS removed him from his home abruptly when he was 10. It was as a result of a phone call from his father’s present girlfriend, who called DYFS alleging neglect and emotional abuse by his mother.
Kevin was removed from his mother’s custody for six months. According to him, it was the worst time of his life. Asked what he thought about the whole series of events, he said, "I think my mom is weak and my dad and his girlfriend stink and I think the DYFS people are stupid and mean and the only one I forgive is my mom. People can’t help it if they are weak."
He said that his mom is religious and tells him God wants him to forgive people. He said he does not believe in her religion because of that.
"I don’t want to belong to a religion that lets other people abuse them and the law lets them and religion lets them and then your mom says, ‘forgive them.’ That doesn’t seem like a fair religion to me," Kevin said.
Kevin is a very good student. He gets straight ‘A’s and is involved in sports, community service projects and clubs. He has high hopes and ambitions.
"I’m going to be somebody," he asserted, "and make a lot of money and protect my mom. If you make a lot of money people don’t mess with you. They back off. I bet DYFS wouldn’t go to Brad Pitt or Bill Gates’ house and take one of their kids away because (someone) told lies because they hated his mom and wanted revenge."
He said he never lets anyone get close. "I always keep my guard up, especially with teachers," he said.
Judson is 12. He and his four siblings were removed from their parents’ custody while they were at school. Judson had attended the same school since kindergarten. He always thought his teachers knew him and liked him. He doesn’t think that any more. Now he wonders how his school could let the police and DYFS take he and his brothers and sisters away like that.
He is back at the school physically but not emotionally or mentally. "They all act nice to me now but I haven’t forgotten what they did," said the sullen boy as he recalled the day he was taken out of school, separated from his family and sent to live with strangers and go to school in a different county. "I went to school like a regular day. I was supposed to go to soccer practice after school and then this hinky lady came to school with the cops asking a bunch of weird questions. I didn’t know what she was talking about. But they took me out me and my brothers and sisters and I couldn’t do nothing to stop them and they sent us all to different places. I hated that (foster) place I was in. I hated them all.
"The woman had all this hair on her face and she smelled funny. She tried to be nice…Her house was clean and everything but I didn’t get to see nobody in my family for a long time and (when I did) it was only for a couple of hours at the DYFS place," Judson added.
He also said he was sent to several different counselors.
"They kept blaming my parents when I complained about where I was or about the way the DYFS people treated me," he stated. Finally, he said he stopped complaining and told them whatever he thought they wanted to hear. "Kids ain’t stupid," he said.
After six months his family was reunited but he still has nightmares and sleeps with a bag full of "survival stuff": a flashlight, $30, candy bars, a phone card, a map of New Jersey and extra socks. "I’m never going back to that place. If I hear them coming I’ll run away. I know my parents can’t protect us so I got to protect myself. It’s like Schindler’s List that we watched in class."
Judson still goes to counseling and his mother hopes that someday he’ll be his old self.
Jason, 15, is small for his age. He is an ‘A’ student in high school and like Kevin, he is ambitious. Although he told his mother he wanted to talk for this story, he initially appeared reticent. Once he began, however, the words poured out in torrents.
He spoke about the police coming to his house with DYFS agents. He remembered his mom pleading and crying not to take him. He remembers it did no good. He remembers being put into the DYFS agent’s car and getting a police escort while his neighbors watched. He remembers the year he spent in foster care.
"They never took me to church. At home I always went to church with my grandmom," said Jason.
He said that the biggest thing he learned was kids can’t trust adults, especially school teachers and counselors and principals.
"They tell you to talk to them and then they twist everything you say and call the police and don’t call your mom or grandmom and there is nothing you can do about it neither," he added.
He said that the whole experience made him feel very insecure, and that his mother and the DYFS people never explained to him why he was taken away.
"They acted like I wasn’t even there," he said.
Most of the time he tries not to think about it too much. Instead he focuses his attention and efforts on the future; he wants to be a police officer.
Cassandra, Angel and Dominique were never placed in foster care and their actual time exposure to the DYFS system was relatively short. But the scars remain.
All three sat together to talk for this story. Cassandra, the oldest, spoke first.
Most of the time she does not think about the experience. It is just too frightening and painful, she said.
"It was one of my worst years," said the high school student. "It was a horrible experience and I still don’t understand how this can happen. My mom and dad are really good people. They really love us and would never do the stuff the DYFS people accused them of."
She said her parents raised her and her sisters to respect authority and go to the police for help but the DYFS experience has changed that attitude for her.
"I distrust authority. I can’t help it," said the young girl.
Being the oldest she also feels some guilt about not being able to protect her younger sisters even though everyone explained to her that there was nothing she could have done.
She also questioned the role of her school.
"I always felt safe in school before this happened, but now…," she said, her voice trailing off.
Her younger sister, Dominique, is more direct: "I don’t trust cops, and I don’t trust DYFS. They don’t help children."
She also stated that when they were asking her about her parents’ touching her, which she stated never, ever happened, "(The DYFS people) were the ones touching me. I didn’t like it. It was embarrassing. I wouldn’t want them touching other kids like that," she said.
Regarding the school authorities, she said: "They just demand you answer their questions. They don’t even tell you why they’re there or who they are. They act like you’re a thing."
Angel, the youngest, is more positive and still retains a sense of her own power.
"They should be getting the real child abusers like the guys who stalk kids on the Internet," she said.
Like her sisters she does not trust many adults and avoids police even when she sees them in their cars.
"I trust my coach but nobody else," she said referring to the adults she still believes in.
Dominique’s advice to other children in similar situations is far from passive.
"I’d tell them to resist, punch them, scream to let other people know. Get help," said the adolescent.
For a long time after the incident the three sisters believed that DYFS had put a camera in their home.
"We thought we were being watched everywhere and it was very scary," said Cassandra her sisters nodding their agreement. Sometimes they still have bad dreams and feelings and lack the self-confidence they had before the DYFS intervention. All three resist visits to the doctor’s office and are wary of telling any adult their thoughts.
Mostly all three agreed they just try to forget but despite their mother’s admonitions to forgiveness, they were not in a place to do that just yet.
Cassandra, who is studying U.S. history in school, said it reminded her of the Salem witch trials in the 1600s in New England.
"It’s like a witch hunt only this time we were the witches and they (DYFS) were the Puritans," observed the teenager.
None of the six children interviewed believed that the DYFS intervention benefited them in any way. In fact, the opposite was true: they all felt their families had been seriously damaged.
Asked if they could offer advice to the New Jersey legislators who have the power to do something, Kevin summed up their feelings: "Fix it or get rid of it. Someday we’ll be in charge and we’ll remember what you did or didn’t do."
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